Status: Drafting the fourth book in the PERILOUS series!

Friday, September 10, 2010

Get out of that Funk

So my husband flew back to Afghanistan this week. It was not, of course, an unexpected departure, but it was most unwelcome, and I've found myself in a horrible state of mind since he left. I'm unmotivated, anti-social, cranky, sleepy, and unable to focus on the future. Actually, the thought of my future--running a household of three children while feeding myself and them and keeping us all clean and still participating in society--terrifies me.

But let's be honest. We all get in funks sometimes. (That's the word I'm using to describe how I feel right now.) And sometimes the thought of taking the effort to do something and get out of the funk is so exhausting, it's easier to just stayed funked.


This is the time when you need to get back to the basics. Make things a priority and focus on a) yourself and b) others.

A) Yourself.
Think of all those things you know you should be doing because they make you feel good. They're not necessarily EASY things to do. But now is the time to do it. Take the time.

Make some cookies.


Read your scriptures.

Write in your journal.


Do a hobby: scrapbook, write, karaoke.


Sometimes these things get pushed to the backburner and we think we don't have time, or it's not exciting, or other things are more important. But do it anyway. Throw your routine out the window and be spontaneous. For a day, then retrieve that routine because it's going to keep you sane.

b) others.
In other words, service. And I don't mean the kind you do for your kids and husband day in and day out. That's a given. I mean, when you think about someone else's needs and problems, you often forget your own. Or you realize yours aren't so bad. Don't put it off another day.

Write a letter.

Visit a friend.

Call someone you haven't talked to in awhile.

Make dinner for someone.

Invite someone over.

The best way to get out of that funk is to do something. So here it is, folks. I'm doing something. I should be out of this funk very soon. And in case that doesn't work, any other ideas??


Elle Strauss said...

Great advice! How long is hubby gone?

KarenG said...

Add take a shower and put on makeup to that list. Because when I'm in a funk, those are the first things to go. There, I admitted it. But I like make cookies! I do that one a lot and it always cheers me up!

banananutmeg said...

nice post. I agree, getting dressed is huge. Leaving the house is huge (even if to go sit in the sonic drive through and suck down some ice cream while the kids whine in the back seat about not getting any ;). Then putting jammies on after kids go to bed and curling up with a book is a nice recovery.

Call me if you need a sanity break. I'm up for spontaneous!

David J. West said...

I use music, I listen to something that pumps me up.

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

Karen, very good point. I havent' put on makeup since he left, and I'm avoiding mirrors.

Elle, I'm not sure. It's supposed to be a year and he left in June. But we'll see.

Thanks, Meg! I think I'll watch a movie tonight and do the laundry. :)

DL Hammons said...

Those are great lists! Still intending on going to OWC? If that can't shake the funk of you...nothing will!

Keep your chin up (or the food will fall out of your mouth). Sorry...just a little humor to cheer you up. :)

Christine Fonseca said...

This was THE post I needed to read today...not a bad day, mind you - just a rough week. Thanks for the reminders!

Angie said...

Good luck with your hubby gone. Thanks for the good advice. That's so true.

Jordan said...

Good list!

Some more advice: ask for/accept help. And if this doesn't clear up soon, (PSA time) that does mean professional help. Sorry to be a total downer, but PLEASE be careful. Some of the symptoms you listed could also be PPD.

Emailman said...

Come and talk to me any time if I'm around :) I have some awesome horror stories that will make you feel great in no time! :D

Hobbies are great too! I've built rockets, telescopes, web sites. Played in bands, wrote novels, brewed wine. Man! I must have been in a funk a LOT! haha!!

Kasey said...

Oh, yeah. I know exactly what you mean about getting stuck in a funk and completely agree with your methods for getting un-stuck! I usually need a good project to snap myself out of it....even if that is rationalizing the items in my closet, rearranging furniture, trying a new recipe, etc. Some days, putting on a cuter-than-necessary outfit does the trick.

Are you coming to book group Tuesday?

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

oh yes, DL, I'm all there! can't wait! (let's be honest--once I've paid money, it's a done deal!)

Christine, I'm so glad I was able to help someone besides myself!

Jordan, that's definitely something to keep in mind! that's how I've felt for the past few days. especially the day he left. but I think (thank goodness) that it's passing!

Kurt--horror stories? wrong holiday, buddy. :) You're awesome! you have the best ways to clear out funks! I mean, rockets? who does that?? :) (lots of smilies so you know I'm kidding.)

Kasey, I hope I can be as productive in my funks as you are in yours! That cute outfit very often does the trick. And yes, so planning on being there Tuesday! lots to talk about!!

Annie McMahon said...

Nothing cheers me up more than a good conversation with a close friend.

I'll come fetch you next time we have a YA forum Skype chat. Lots of good fun! And you can make fun of my French accent, I won't be offended. :D It's easier to understand than Kurt's British one. Haha! Everyone seems to have an accent on our forum. Except Ralene.

Jemi Fraser said...

It's got to be so hard. I can't even imagine what you're going through. A little funk is mostly definitely allowed!

Ice cream for all is usually good - or a good game of Twister :)

TerryLynnJohnson said...

You are so inspiring keeping your head up. Good for you! And love your de-funking advice!

And have I told you how much I appreciate you adding my book to your to-read list? You were the first and made my whole heart glow with happiness. Thank you!

Melanie J said...

Hugs. From anyone and everyone.

Krista said...

It seems like whenever I'm in a funk and stay in my robe, that's when my mother-in-law drops by. When I remember that is a real possibility, I at least shower and make the bed. And eat chocolate-covered cinnamon bears.

Anonymous said...

Those are all great ideas. Sometimes I just need to be still during a 'funk' and just watch what brings joy to my heart. Getting too busy achieving goals, I tend to forget who I am.

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

No way, TerryLynn, I was the first?? Don't worry, you'll get more!

Krista, that's always how it goes. I didn't feel like doing anything and then someone invited us over for dinner. :)

Melissa J. Cunningham said...

Hey Tamara! I gave you an award on my blog! Come check it out!

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

thanks, Melissa! On my way there!

Ann Best said...

You're on the right track!

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