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Status: Releasing Entranced on February 17!

Friday, April 2, 2010

First Impressions Blogfest

Here's what we're doing today: A blogfest! Post the first page of your manuscript (any ms) on your blog.

I've never done one before. So I'm excited!

If you want to participate, go here. Please participate! I'd love to read your first pages.

Here is mine, from my YA fantasy novel (this month's project) White As Snow.

Mid 18th century

Brandenburg-Prussia

The queen allowed the servant girl to help her remove the heavy overcoat. A draft blew its way through the fortress wall, and the queen shivered. Shrugging her shoulders, she jerked her head at the girl, careful not to touch her.. “Bring me some tea.”


“Yes, your majesty.” Keeping her eyes averted, the girl disappeared down a long hall.


The queen paused outside the great hall, listening to the king in audience with a few peasants. Someone complaining about a goat crashing through his fence. She rolled her eyes, not understanding how the king could have patience with such nonsense. The man was too soft for her taste. Were she on the throne, this province would be stronger.


Someone rapped on the exterior door, the sound echoing off the stones to her right. Probably another unhappy citizen. A curl of chestnut brown hair slid down her neck. She pushed it back into place, admiring the sparkle of the large ruby ring on her right hand. Warmth radiated from the stone, tingling as it made its way down her arm. A magical ring, it magnified her Power, allowing her to hear the thoughts of anyone she touched.


The man servant opened the door. She couldn’t make out the words, but the discussion grew heated. The queen made her way to the front entry, nearly bumping into the man servant.


“Your majesty.” His lips quivered in agitation, and he readjusted the ruffles of his blouse. “A man at the door insists on seeing you.”


She arched an eyebrow. Nobody insisted on anything around here. “Send him away.”


He uttered a sigh. “I tried. He said he will cause a scandal and rouse the street rats.”


A trouble maker. Perhaps something interesting. “Follow me.” She strode down the worn carpet, her pointed shoes making a light thump with each step.


Did you post one? Leave a comment so I know!

Oh, and if you haven't entered my contest, do so here. There's definitely still time to get people to follow my blog--we haven't hit 150 yet!

27 comments:

KarenG said...

As long as it's not one under contract lol!

Talli Roland said...

Can't wait to read it!

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

oh, of course not, Karen. Hopefully everyone knows better than that!

Give me an hour, Talli, and I should have it up.

Portia said...

Wow, I'm curious! Great mystery to lead with. The Queen certainly has an edge to her, doesn't she? Nicely done.

Simon C. Larter said...

I quite like the queen, methinks. When does she start smacking minions around? I'd keep reading. Nicely done, good lady.

Jemi Fraser said...

Nice beginning - I bet he's going to cause some big time trouble!! :)

Elisa said...

is this related to Branca at all? Just curious. A series?

Harley D. Palmer said...

Oh! The queen gives me the impression that something bad is about to happen - and it'll be her fault! Great beginning and awesome detail on the queen. I would love to read more!

elizabeth mueller said...

I couldn't find a place where I could follow you on your blog, what am I doing wrong? :(

I enjoyed the detail in your story. I'm with Simon, I want to see some good minion smacking! ;)

Voidwalker said...

Cool deal. Of course now I have a bunch of questions. Why does the queen have a ring with that power? If she really views the king as soft, will she used the ring to take advantage over him? Does the novel have any vampires in it LOL... j/k

Mary Campbell said...

I'm enjoying the voice and the details. A ring of power - very intriguing.

Nisa said...

Ooh! The queen sounds like quite an interesting character and I would love to know more about the trouble maker. Nice beginning! :)

M. Gray said...

Oooh, I love super powers. I want this one! Well done, Tamara. Way to get an appearance description in so quick.

Jen said...

I love this!! I can't wait for you to be done this story sounds so great!!!

sarahjayne smythe said...

Oh, I very much like this queen. I can't wait to find out how she gets rid of the King. :)

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

Wow, guys, so glad you like it!

This is actually a prologue that sets up the rest of the novel, which takes place 300 years later.

Elisa, this is Branca. I just changed the title.

Harley, you're so right!

Elizabeth--up at the top of the blog (the very top) should be a button that says 'follow.' if you click it, you should be able to follow. Thanks for wanting to!

Voidwalker--questions are good! And no, lol, there are no vampires. I am definitely vampired out.

Mary, this is my love child. :)

This is the month to hit the book hard. Hopefully it'll be done by next month!

roxy said...

Interesting beginning. I really liked the whole atmosphere of this piece. The queen certainly draws the reader in.

Elaine AM Smith said...

This had a fairy tale feel - your queen isn't your real main character?

Tara said...

What a character, that queen. I wanted to read more!

Kelly Lyman said...

I'm a sucker for historical fiction- Man, that queen sure does have some spirit! Great job. I'm hooked. Thanks for joining in!

Catherine A. Winn said...

You've created a very good character in the queen. I have a feeling she's heading for a big comeuppance!

Roland D. Yeomans said...

It's always a challenge to start with an apparently cruel character. But you have given us an insight into her motives and possible plans -- with teases that all is not well with the kingdom. I get the impression that she may find that the crown on the head is also a target on the back.

Come check out my first page and see what you think. Have a healing weekend, Roland

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

Thanks, guys!

No, Elaine, she's not the main character. But she does something on the next page that has a huge butterfly effect on the future!

I'll be over, Roland!

Lilah Pierce said...

The Queen is great. She's an excellent pick for a character. Great start!

Don't forget to sign up for Last Line Blogfest! (details on my site.)

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

last line blogfest, huh? I'll definitely have to check that out!

Elle said...

Love this! Can't wait to read more :)

Retro ReDesign said...

Great Beginning
larajarrette at gmail dot com

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