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Thursday, June 10, 2010

Woman Power

Women.

Do we realize how important our role is?

Sometimes I think we allow ourselves to think we are second-rate citizens, content to sit on the back-burner while our lives revolve around EVERYONE ELSE. I'm not saying that we're subservient to our husbands. Or our children. But we start to think we are not that important. We begin to define ourselves by how well we cook, or how dusty the table is, or (heaven forbid) how much money we bring home.

I've struggled with this. My children and husband are the most important things on earth to me. And yet, I have found myself in places were I feel I have nothing more to give. If all I am is a caretaker, a cook, a housekeeper, I'm easily replaced. And easily displaced.

Ladies, there is nothing replaceable about our role.

We don't just pop to-go boxes on the table for dinner (most nights). We shop for groceries and plan a menu with LOVE, imagining our children and husbands enjoying the food. We buy what we think they will enjoy. We plan around their tastes. And yes, that is more catering to their needs, but at least it's not something someone else can do.

We don't just change diapers and wash laundry and pick out clothing for our children. We hold them when they crawl into our beds and we kiss their owies and we smooth back their sweaty hair after they've been playing. We LOVE them. That's irreplaceable.

But still, that's what we do for other people. What I want to know, girls, is what are you doing for yourself?

Is there something you enjoy doing, but you feel guilty taking the time to do it? Stop now. Plan out your day. Look at the hours you give to everyone else. If you take 2-4 (or even 6) hours a week and do something FOR YOURSELF, you will feel invigorated. You will feel more empowered in your role as a wife, mom, caregiver, etc. You will feel more prepared to handle the parts of your roles that you DON'T ENJOY (for me, the housekeeping).

You are a successful contributor to society. Not just to your family. Find your niche. Find your group. And enrich your life by doing something more.

I write when my children are napping. I scrapbook on occasion while we're watching a movie. I teach English in the morning before my children wake up. These activities help me to feel motivated, ambitious, and fulfilled. None of them take away from my family.

Women, don't sell yourselves short. And take time for you.

Picture taken from this blog: http://www.blogtrepreneur.com.Which looks like it has some great blogs for women, so check it out!





4453 / 60000 words. 7% done!

16 comments:

banananutmeg said...

Great post. I went back to school last semester and felt guilty every. singe. minute. Leaving a house on Monday (of all nights), with my family at the table eating (or not eating, and whining about the meal) without me. It's one thing to go to a movie with the girls after kids are in bed, but leaving my family when they're all awake really pulls on me. Adversity is a funny thing, and a very real thing.
I'm taking summer off, but am registering for classes in the Fall. For me.

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

good for you, woman! that's a good example of a sacrifice that will be so worth it in the future.

Krista said...

I used to feel guilty, but I've embraced how much healthier (mentally and physically) I feel when I get out with my girlfriends, or play with my volleyball team, or even manage a few days away with my sister (that doesn't happen enough). The house and the kids and the husband all seem to get along fine without me (more or less), they just miss me. And being missed is a nice feeling.
Great post, Tamara. Wishing you lots of fulfillment.

Amanda said...

I feel guilty when I take time for myself at the wrong time. More especially when my house is a mess.

I do agree that women need to take time for themselves. It is hard for me to give emotionally when my cup isn't full. You can't give from an empty glass after all.

Kate Larkindale said...

I think it's a woman's lot to feel guilty. If I'm at work, I'm guilty because I'm not spending time with the kids; if 'm with the kids, I feel guilty that I'm not doing my job properly.

And then I have to find time to write as well...

Melissa J. Cunningham said...

Great post my dear! Something we should all remember. By the way, LOVE the new look!

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

Thanks, Melissa!

Okay, looks like our next step is, down with guilt! We don't need it, ladies!

Jemi Fraser said...

Great post! I finally took time for myself when I started writing. You're right - the guilt was overwhelming at the beginning. I'm getting better at it now :)

busymom said...

Thanks for stopping by, Tamara! My latest indulgence is Staying Home! I send my husband out with the kids, and have time to redecorate, clean, rest, whatever-I've really needed it! : )

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

writing is great, isn't it, Jemi? it helps me so much!

Hi busymom!thanks for coming over here and saying hi!

Diane said...

Good reminder. I think it is all about balance and taking some time for ourselves too. :O)

A Pen In Neverland: Angela Peña Dahle said...

I love this post. I love to write. I try to fit it in any chance I get. Usually, I do feel guilty when the dishes or laundry are neglected because I needed a little break to write in order to feel refreshed. I just have to remember when to end that break. Usually it's when I hear "Mommy" or "Lovey". Balance and order is important and so is survival(our sanity, our soul, our health). It can be done. You are absolutely right.

Krista said...

Tamara, you won the Cherries gift box in my 50 Followers contest! Please send me your shipping address at kristalynnej at yahoo dot com, so I can send that to you!
Thanks for playing!

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

oo, yay! that's so exciting that I won! LOL. what goes around comes around, I guess!

Kim said...

It took me a while to figure out, but I finally understand that my children and husband want/need me to be happy, too. They want me to look and feel good. Great post!

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

That's exactly right, Kim! Doing things for ourselves actually makes us better moms and wives! (As long as we keep our priorities straight!)

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