It seems to me that being an author is one of the hardest careers on an ego.
Especially in this age. I would be so much happier if I had no internet connection and couldn't track what people are saying about me and how many books they are buying. I wouldn't have to check my email every few hours (minutes) to see if I'd heard back from my publisher/agent. Instead, I would simply check the mailbox once a day, and then continue on my merry way.
It's amazing how quickly the wind can go out of my sails, so to speak.
And just as amazing how small thinks send me floating high again.
In one minute, I can get a partial request from an agent. In the next thirty seconds, I can get a biting review. A few hours later, I might get a raving email from a reader who simply loved my book. Encouraged, I might then check my sales stats.
Up. Crash. Up. Crash.
Yeah, it's not even an "up down." It's an "up...CRASH."
Sometimes I wonder if this is all really worth it.
There's more to my life than writing, after all. There's cooking--I almost always get favorable reviews there--or reading, or singing, or doing the dishes... All of these things can be very rewarding. And purposeful.
But let's face it. Nothing fulfills me like writing.
And so we carry on, waiting for that next high. Sounds a bit like an addict...
Can you relate? What gives you your highs and lows?
8 comments:
I know what you mean about waiting for the next high. When my book comes out next year I'm sure that'll be a pretty big high, but I am nervous about how well it'll do.
I haven't had my book published yet, but I am seriously addicted to my own blog. It nice when I get busy with other things and can't obsess over it all the time. I'm sure that will change when I do get published. Yikes.
Right now I'm not too obsessed with any one thing, except maybe sleep, but there are definitely times when exercise and weight have been obsessions (it doesn't do ANYONE ANY good to step on the scale more than once a day!) and I am most excited about positive feedback on anything I've done recently. It is good for me to not be painting right now because I can become obsessive about ETSY, checking to see if anyone has expressed interest in something I've done, etc.
yeah, I can totally see how anyone could get obsessive about any given hobby! always good to take a step back...like enjoy a good book instead of writing. :)
Anything you are passionate about you have this feeling for. It's the same way with men and their houses and cars. It's how Paula Dean is to her cooking of meat! I see your point- darn that technology. But you should never give up on what fulfills you, because you never know what's going to happen next.
Sara
never giving up has got to be most people's mantra, huh Sara!
It comes back to, you do it because it's in you. Many famous people (actors mostly) say that they stop reading publications about them. It doesn't mattter. But, I know how you feel. I let the outside critic dictate my mood, too. I'm trying too stop that.
Right now my highs and lows are restricted to my review of my WIP during revisions. When the writing really starts to stink it's hard to keep going. I want to toss the thing and start over. However, every once in a while I find a scene, or a paragraph and I'm reminded that it gets better. Hang in Tamara!
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