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Monday, April 11, 2011

I'm a slacker mom

When my first child was a newborn, I took him to Walmart to get something. I remember pulling my precious, sleeping baby out of the car at the same time that the woman across from us was loading her screaming 4yo into her car. He dragged his feet, and she yelled at him. She spanked his bum and yelled some more before chucking him into the car. I clutched my baby to me and wanted to cry that she could display such anger toward her sweet little person.

If only I could see the future. Well, I've been initiated. I am that mother.

Children are enigmas. When they pat my face and give me kisses and hugs and tell me they love me, my whole body fills with warmth and happiness. And then a second later they are screaming, whining, hitting, hurting the cat, painting their clothes, and spilling their food everywhere.

Everyone one of them wants something, and they all want it NOW. I can't keep up.

I love naptime and bedtime. I can't get them  into their beds quick enough after a meal. I breathe a wonderful sigh of relief when they are all silent and sleeping.

I wish I was more patient. I wish I was the kind of mom with lots of crafts, songs, and goodies. I admire those that are. For me, there's always room for improvement.

15 comments:

Charity Brown said...

I feel the same way. I always come up with all these ideas for how I am going to change and be this super mom who does all of these crafty fun things with my kids all day long, but it is hard. It really is hard to have that type of patience all the time. I guess that's a big part of motherhood, learning to relinquish control and realize we have children with their own ideas and own personalities who like to do things their ways. We're always learning and growing. :)

Kate Larkindale said...

I'm with you lady! Because I work full time, I always feel like time with the kids should be perfect, but half the time they're not interested in whatever project I've dreamed up and would rather go and play by themselves on the field next door. The other half of the time, one is interested and the other whines about it so much no one has fun,

Mary Aalgaard said...

Funny cartoon! I've felt that way, too. It's best to be honest with ourselves and those who live with us. We need a break from time to time. We are always giving. They are always taking. It's okay to breath a sigh of relief.
And, not everyone likes crafts. Let that one go.

banananutmeg said...

Satan wants you to feel discouraged, out of patience, and like you aren't doing enough. While we all have things that we could be better at, take a minute to remind yourself that you're doing the best you can, and that just needs to be enough. No one can do it all.

I totally remember turning my nose up at my sister when she would snap at her kids, and saying every "I will never" a woman without children can think of to say. I got my comeuppance for sure!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvQ0Sj6Qm_Y
enjoy this.

Ralene said...

Ain't that the truth? We are mothers of young children and at best that's exhausting, if somewhat exasperating. We hang on to those moments when the children are angels, and relish in nap/bedtimes when they're not.

I'm totally with banananutmeg, I used to turn my nose up at my sister as well. Now I've had one or two "I told you so" moments from her. lol... It sucks b/c she's actually younger than me! Oy!

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

ah, the joys of motherhood! I'm so glad you all agree!!! :) Thanks for the link, Meg! I'll check it out!

Cathy said...

There is a really great book called "I Didn't Plan to Be a Witch" by Linda Eyre. I read it when I was in the middle of 5 kids under the age of 8. It was really helpful. She had 9 kids, really knows the ropes and has a great sense of humor.

Sherri Lackey said...

Well, from what you wrote it doesn't sound like you're a slacker mom. You just seem like any mom I've met with small children. I remember those days and I'm truly glad for the teen years where I can carry on a conversation with my children instead of playing referee.

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

@Cathy--I have ideas for writing a book called "Killing the Super Mom" :)

@Sherri--yes! that must be nice!

Jemi Fraser said...

I've never met a mom who didn't feel that way at least part of the time! Hang in there! :)

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

I have friends that I totally admire. Like enviously. I could call their names out...give them a shout out...but they probably know who they are.

Unknown said...

I think all moms breath a sigh of relief at bedtime. I coworker of mine has teenagers and even she breaths that sigh of relief at the end of a long day of parenting.

Aaron and Emily said...

Those crafty, fun moms are like everyone else... you are only seeing one side of them. They carefully try to hide their impatient side from onlookers!

Amber said...

I totally feel that way sometimes, and I only have one right now!! There are definitely days when I put my boy to bed a few minutes earlier otherwise I'm going to go insane. There's a great clip from Bill Cosby about crazy and unruly children. Mother asks, "Did you kill the boy?" Cosby replies, "No." "Why not?" "I don't know!" it's a great exchange that Justin and I repeat to each other simply because it makes a frustrating situation mildly humorous.

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

Everyone should check out this video. it's hilarious. In fact, I think I'll repost it on my blog at some point: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvQ0Sj6Qm_Y

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