Status: Drafting the fourth book in the PERILOUS series!

Friday, March 18, 2011

Jaci's jog

This is a scene from chapter one that was cut because it slowed down the action. It's a retrospective scene, where Jaci is jogging home through the streets of Shelley, Idaho, thinking about her life and her friends.

Time to go. The wind would dry her off. She pulled her jeans on over her Speedo brand swimsuit, grimacing at the way they stuck to her wet legs. She yanked her t-shirt over her head and slid her wet hair into a ponytail. She always wore it up. Grabbing her socks, she jerked them over her feet. “Bye,” she said, slipping into her shoes and breaking into a run.

“Bye,” Callie echoed, almost to the shore.

Jaci started out in a hard jog, then slowed, establishing a comfortable pace. She allowed herself a small smile, glancing left before she crossed the street.

There were no cars parked in front of the narrow brick post office. It was too late in the day. Jaci glanced at her wrist before remembering she’d lost her watch. She sped up, again concerned that she wouldn’t make it home in time to baby-sit. It had to be past four-thirty for the post office to be closed.

Amanda was getting on her nerves. She always tried to run the show. She’d only moved in six months ago, and they were pretty much forced to be friends, since she and Callie hung out all the time. But she bossed everyone. She got jealous if Callie spent too much time with Jaci, also.

She rolled her eyes. Home wasn’t much farther now. She glanced up at the blue sky and uttered a sigh. “Help me be more patient, Father,” she whispered.

Blue shutters adorned the red-brick, multi-level house. She ran up the porch steps and let herself in, the screen door bouncing back once before it slammed shut behind her. Upstairs, something fell with a loud clang.


RaShelle said...

Thanks for letting us read, Tamara! =D

Karen Elizabeth Brown said...

This may have been cut, but it left me wanting to know more!

I'm new to your blog. It looks great! I'm glad to get to know you, Tamara.


Tamara Hart Heiner said...

You're welcome, RaShelle!

Karen, glad to meet you! And that's exactly the point. Sometimes scenes are cut b/c they don't fit, not b/c they're bad. So hopefully the cut scenes will make people want to read the rest!

Brent Wescott said...

This does make me interested in the character. It establishes some traits and introduces some questions before the main action, which I assume happens beginning with the something clanging upstairs. Piqued my interest. Thanks.
It Just Got Interesting

Kari Marie said...

This is great. I've added Perilous to my TBR pile.

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

I'm very happy to have you get to know my characters more!

taio said...


Cheree said...

Thanks for sharing. The more I read from Jaci's POV, the more I love her.

Shirley Wells said...

I have no idea how I found your blog, but I'm glad I did. :)

I enjoyed this scene and so want to know what the loud clang was. Thanks for sharing.

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

@Cheree--I also love her!

@Shirley--glad you found me!

thanks, Taio!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...