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Wednesday, March 16, 2011

All the Beautiful Lonely People

There is something about beauty that inspires us to worship it. It dazzles us, inspires us, awes us.

It also intimidates us.

We see someone who looks like an angel, or a god, and we feel somehow that we're not worthy to talk to them. That they wouldn't condescend themselves to our level.

I know I make this mistake. There is a woman at the gym I go to who is strikingly beautiful. She is athletic, graceful, petite, and pretty. She's also very nice. I've spoken to her a few times and she always has a quick smile, and is very friendly.

And yet, every time I see her, I have to swallow my nerves and gather my courage just to say hi.

Something similar happened when I went to college. The very first day of freshman orientation, I saw this beautiful redhead with sparkling green eyes and huge dimples when she smiled, which was often. Her name was Abby, she looked gregarious and social, and I instantly worshiped her. I was also terrified of her.

I never would have spoken to Abby if she hadn't sat next to me on the first day of class. But since she sat next to me, I talked to her. And she responded, and I met a soul mate. We were inseparable, joined at the hip, and I get a tiny chill when I think of the friendship I would've missed if I had allowed my insecurity to impede a friendship.

Insecurity is a good word for it.

Perhaps being beautiful is a sentence to a life of loneliness. I propose that we stop comparing ourselves to them. It's doubtful that they even realize they are beautiful, and they simple desire love and friendship like the rest of us. Or maybe I am the only one who has this problem?

Abby and I are still friends today. We both have kids while our husbands are in the army. She even wrote me while I lived in Brazil as a missionary. And the funny thing? Abby has no idea how awesome she is. In fact, she says when she saw me, she thought the same thing about me that I thought about her.

Maybe we just need to see ourselves with someone else's eyes every once in awhile.

11 comments:

Chantele Sedgwick said...

FYI- I'd be scared to talk to YOU! You are gorgeous!
I know what you mean about people at the gym. There is a girl with long blond hair, skinny, and so pretty. I don't know why she's so intimidating! She's probably just as shy as I am! :) It's funny how we see people and once we get to know them we wonder why we were so scared to talk to them in the first place. :)

KarenG said...

Most really beautiful people don't even think about it. They're focused on their hair which isn't working, or their teeth which aren't straight enough, or the hips that look huge today. I've met very few gorgeous people who think they are gorgeous. And really attractive people seem to be some of the nicest as well.

Kittie Howard said...

These old cliches are old for a reason: You can't judge a book by its cover. The really gorgeous people I've met, know, and have for friends haven't a clue they're gorgeous. Huh? they say. That's part of what makes them gorgeous. Their idea of beauty isn't physical.

Stephanie Black said...

Thanks for a thought-provoking post. I do find myself intimidated sometimes by people who look perfect--perfect hair, perfect clothes, perfect face, perfect body, perfect house. And yet, if I'd just get over my own insecurities, I'd realize they're a normal person with insecurities just like me.

Rebecca said...

This is a very insightful post. I also have a hard time picturing you having a hard time around beautiful people, because ever since I saw your pic I've thought you are absolutely gorgeous!

It's true that beautiful people have insecurities too. I think the rest of us just don't want them too, haha.

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

pictures are misleading!!! you guys will see me at the conference. I'm very normal.

But reach out to the beautiful people around you! they are probably lonely!

Kari Marie said...

Oh, I do this all the time. *hangs head* Add to that painfully shy tendencies and well, meeting new people feels like scaling a wall when you are afraid of heights.

You my dear are lovely though. :) think about celebrities who also have to contend with all the nonsense fame brings with the package. It's true though the beautiful folks don't see it. When asked most of them would nitpick their flaws just like I do.

Elisa said...

am I intimidated by beautiful people? I suppose to a certain extent, just because I assume they won't be interested in average me. But I think I'm more intimidated by beautiful people who also wear trendy clothing. I don't know, somehow that just makes them seem less approachable than if they were not quite so hip... because while beauty comes from within (therefore I could arguably be confident that I'm beautiful too in my own way), fashion sense and style are definitely on the outside. and I'm afraid I am usually a lil behind on the trends and/or just can't pull them off with confidence. Give me the gorgeous girl SWEATING at the gym and I think I can handle myself with an intro. Give me the same gorgeous girl all spruced up at the store or church... and I might sit by someone else. :)

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

I'm totally intimidated by the gorgeous girl. and you people who keep saying I'm beautiful! what are your sources??? Most of you haven't met me. Don't judge pictures to be accurate, folks.

Fábio said...

Oh man.. I have such a hard time meeting new people. I am very lonely, it's hard for me to even make friends. Nobody approaches me.. except for that guy who doesn't want anything serious. My close friends say I look good, and dress well, and that's intimidating to some people.. People think I'm very futile. So once they approach me, they start bragging about their cars or criticizing people's clothes, or saying very bad things because they think I'm gonna "enjoy" that kind of conversation?! It's very disappointing!! I wish I could wear a sign with something like "don't be scared, talk to me!! Although I look futile, I am not!!". Being judged is so unfair!!

Russell said...

Different people are intimated by different things. Some by beauty, some by success. Once we get beyond our fear, we usually find that they are normal people - just like us.

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