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Saturday, August 7, 2010

High Drama Blogfest

I totally forgot about this until today. Well, it's not too late, since today is the day!

According to DL Hammons, who is hosting the blogfest, high drama means action. So, here we go. Trying to find the appropriate action scene!

A noise next to them brought Branca’s head up. Had she dozed off?


Footsteps. Instantly alert, she tensed. Was there someone on the stairs?


A light turned on next to her and Medoli, sending a sheet of gold under the hidden door. Branca pressed her eye over the hinge. The closet led to Queen Cinthia’s room. She could see the queen’s bed and dresser. Was the queen back? She stirred, ready to call out to her.


“Mirror, I seek the Princess Branca. Where is she?”


That was Evan’s voice! Branca froze. Medoli’s legs were intertwined around her ankles. The other girl was asleep.


Branca held her breath and peered into the room, heart pounding. He couldn’t possibly know about this hidden door.


A dragging sounded over the padded carpet, and Branca stared in horror as Evan came around the bed, eyes fixed on the door. His leg dragged behind him. He’d tied a rag around his arm, and it was stained crimson. Blood ran from a wound on his neck. His eyes snapped furiously, the knife out and high, already dripping.


He’s coming. Branca jerked her feet out from Medoli, shaking her awake. “Medoli! Wake up! We’ve got to run! Now!”


The door flung open, and Medoli fell backwards onto the floor. Evan lifted the knife and plunged it toward her heart.


“Stop!” Branca shouted. A strange sensation prickled her skin, like droplets of moisture from a cloud.


Evan’s hand halted, the blade inches from slitting Medoli’s chest.


Wow. How did I do that? Branca slipped out of the closet. “She’s not the one you want.”

He whipped his head up, eyes widening in recognition.


Medoli grabbed his hand and pushed it backwards, forcing him to plunge the knife into his thigh.


Evan screamed, his head swinging back to Medoli. He jerked the knife out of his leg and backhanded her across the face, cutting her cheek.


Medoli gasped. Evan shoved her against Cinthia’ bed and pushed himself to his feet. Branca straightened and glared at him, daring him to come to her. Spotting a small white ceramic pot on the dresser, she grabbed it and threw it at Evan’s face. He ducked, missing the blow. The pot collided with the Queen’s bedpost, shattering and spraying a strange gray ash.


He shook his head and waved his hands to clear it away, and then he halted in mid-motion. Even as Branca watched, his face and arms developed huge welts everywhere the ash touched. He began to shriek.


Medoli inched closer to the closet. Branca thrust her back inside. “Stay put,” Branca sobbed. She jammed the door back into place. It disappeared into the wall as if it weren’t even there.


“Branca!” Medoli cried, fingers scratching at the door. There was just a slit, right above the hinge, unnoticeable if one didn’t already know where to look. Medoli’s blue eye stared out at her. She slammed her body against the door, but it latched from the outside.


Medoli was safe. Branca turned to examine her escape route.


Evan stood between the bed and the bedroom door, moaning. His bloodshot, swollen eyes were open, and he watched her, bloody knife at the ready. He took a halting step towards her, the useless leg bleeding profusely from a thigh wound.


Branca tried not to panic. Her exit was behind him.

16 comments:

Jemi Fraser said...

Great characters and pace! Very enjoyable. :)

Amanda Sablan said...

Good stuff! The action kept me reading right on until the end. I really liked: "A strange sensation prickled her skin, like droplets of moisture from a cloud." It really sets up the scene for what's next!

Ann Best said...

Very well done. Filled with tension. I enjoyed it.
Ann

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

Thank you, ladies! I'm glad my 'high drama' was filled with 'tension'!

Summer Ross said...

I really enjoyed reading this. I was hooked right from the first line. well done. my favorite line: "she grabbed it and threw it at Evan’s face." its so simple but holds so much of a punch in it. Thanks for posting

Shannon O'Donnell said...

Wow. The tension and detail of this make it impossible to read slowly. It hooked me right from the start and held me. Great selection! :-)

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

Thanks, Shannon and Summer! Maybe I should start submitting this segment to agents, ha ha.

DL Hammons said...

I love me some good action!! :) This was a great scene that pulled me in at once. You describe action perfectly and it all read so fluidly. I'm so glad you remembered and posted this as part of the blogfest. It was really a treat!! )

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

DL, I almost forgot to do it! You have a couple of other participants to thank because when I read their blogs, I was like, "Oh yeah!"

aspiring_x said...

come on girl! get him!
(gets you all caught up in the action, doesn't it?) great entry!

Francine said...

Hi,

Great piece Tamara - oooh I hate knives, give me a gun any day and I'll squeeze the trigger if in a tight spot (heroine that is).

Loved this, my blood was running cold!
best
F

Belle said...

Great read - I really want to know what happens!

~Nicole Ducleroir~ said...

Fantastic excerpt, full of suspense and fast-paced action. I was fully engaged from beginning to end. Well done!

This was the first time I read your fiction. You're a gifted writer! Best of luck in all your projects :)

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

Thanks, Nicole! Hopefully you'll think that of the book I have coming out in October!

Thanks for commenting and stopping by, Aspire and Belle and Francine!

Talli Roland said...

Whoa! Talk about drama, Tamara. I love that last line!

Okie said...

Nice tension and adventure...I like it. Makes me want more. :)

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