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Status: Drafting the fourth book in the PERILOUS series!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Backed into a Corner

I hate to talk about something personal like jobs and finances, but I'm having a "I need to talk to someone" day. This post might not be up in 24 hours. I just need to get it off my chest.

Mark has tried like crazy to get a job in his career path, to no avail. He got a job two weeks ago, but without stating the pay, let me just say that it leaves us more than $1000 short each month. We have enough savings to pull us through for two months at that pay.

So Mark and I put a lot of prayer and thought into it, and we asked the Lord to help him find a job that would cover our expenses by December first, or he is going to volunteer for deployment. Obviously not what we want to happen.

Then he had a job interview last week, and it went really well. So well, that on Thursday they offered the job to him. They said it would start Friday, Nov. 6, as long as he passed his polygraph test.

On Monday (Nov. 2) Mark passed his polygraph test. Like a good employee, he let his current employers know about the other job. And THEN he gets a call from the HR department telling him not to give his 2-weeks notice yet, the job might not start for awhile.

A major bummer. And now he looks flaky at his current job.

They also scheduled him for a 6am physical this morning at the lab, half an hour from our house. Mark was up at the crack of dawn for that thing. When he walked back in at 7am, I did a double take.

"That was fast!" I said.

"No one was there," he said.

What??? I drilled him. Did you call all your phone numbers? Yes. Did you try all the doors? Yes. Are you sure it was 6:ooam?

He showed me the paper. Very legible handwriting. 6:00am.

He even drove to the nearby medical center. Left messages. Nothing.

No one called him back as of lunch time today.

I know my faith is being tested here. But I'm frustrated. Are we not meant to have financial security? Is he supposed to leave me for a year? I feel like we're being backed into a corner and I'm a panicked animal, lashing out. Someone else is playing the cards for us. I'm trying to trust, to relax. Breathe. It's the beginning of November. We still have a month.

Everything will be okay...right???

Sequel revisions:
today's goal: 70/160
actual: 70/160
tomorrow's goal: page 80/160

15 comments:

Eggett Family said...

My dear sweet cousin,

I know you said this post might not last through the day, but I wanted to let you know that you are not alone! Dallin and I spent the first 3 years of our marriage without a steady paycheck -- and 2 kids in the process. Even though Dallin has had a steady teaching job now for a year and a half, we're still looking at a deficit in our monthly income because his 2nd job at Sylvan is taking a big hit from the economy right now. So, I know the frustration and stress you are going through -- as do countless others! Remember to pray, read your scriptures, etc. My favorite scripture to remember at times like this is Ether 2:24-25.

I'm here for ya!

Robin

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

Well, Robin! How nice to hear from you! And what a nice thing to say. Thank you for the kind words! And it is comforting to know, somehow, that many people know what we're going through.

Jenni said...

Well, I'm pretty much a stranger so I doubt my advice is really what you need on such a personal matter. But I do have to say you are not alone. My husband and I have relied on help from his parents a few times in our marriage because our finances haven't always been what we needed. But I have a little sign in my kitchen that says, "If you're handed it you can handle it." It's hard to believe sometimes but it has always turned out to be true.

My mother in law has one that says, "Let go and let God." That's pretty good advice, too.

Sending lots of good vibes your way and wishing you all the best!

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

Hi Jenni, nice to meet you! Thanks for stopping by, and any advice is always appreciated!

M. Gray said...

Oh, Tamara. I certainly do hope your husband can find a job before he agrees to be deployed. My sister's husband is a Major in the army and he's been away years at a time.

Sara ♥ said...

Tamara,

Jenni's "Let go and let God" advice is stellar. I'm not one to talk faith on the Internet much, but I will say this. God isn't going to throw anything in your direction that you can't handle.

Hang in there!

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

Mary--me too. We don't want it to come to that. Oh, and BTW--we won't be meeting up w/ you in Florida. So sad! But oh well.

Sara--thank you for those words. It means a lot.

Elisa said...

Wow. I can't believe this is what you're going through right now and you've been so tight-lipped about it. I feel for you.

I won't pretend that I understand because Eric and I are still in the 'education' phase and are living on loans rather than relying upon finding a good job. But my heart goes out to you guys. I know it would be extremely hard for you if Mark had to be deployed. I can imagine that would make you feel on the verge of desperation. I'm sorry.

If you need to vent further, feel free to call me, sis. You've got my number and everything. :) No reason to carry this on your own.

Aaron and Emily said...

Tamara,

What a bummer. Here's a HUGE HUG from me to you.

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

Thanks, Elisa! I'm not one to talk about these things. Especially out loud. Makes it worse, somehow. But I will keep your offer in mind.

And thanks for the hugs, Em!

Carrie Harris said...

*hug*

That's all I've got, but hey, every hug helps, right?

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

Yes, Carrie! Thanks for the hug!

LMJ said...

Tamara, I really hope your hubby finds something before he is deployed. Hubby and I went through a rough period in 2004 as well. For a while we were living off my paycheck ($200 per week while working in a department store). It was rough. We made it. We were also faced with a major decision if he didnt get a job within a certain period. We were behind many bills and were living off our savings and credit cards.

We kept our faith and said lots of prayers. It all worked out for the better. Hope it happens for you as well.

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

LMJ--that's what we're rooting for, girl!! I feel more optimistic today. We'll see what happens. How's that new baby??

LMJ said...

Baby's doing good; getting bigger and heavier. She's gaine two and half pounds since she was born and grew one inch. She's beginning to follow me with her eyes. I love it!!

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