Someone gave me beautiful, thriving pots of sage and rosemary over the summer. They flourished during the summer, sprouting gorgeous leaves and smelling wonderfully. I brought them in before the cold hit.
After that, nothing I did was right.
When the first branch of sage died, I went crazy looking things up on the internet. I found so much contradictory information! Water daily. Water weekly, not daily! Keep them in the sunlight. Keep them away from windows!
By Christmas, the sage was dead. The rosemary was on its way out.
I asked my husband for a grow lamp for Christmas. Surely, I thought, a grow lamp will solve the problem.
I got a grow lamp, and a new rosemary bush. It came with an instruction booklet. "Water daily," it said. "Don't get water on the leaves."
Carefully I watered that plant. I turned on my light every day.
One branch of rosemary died. They were dying when I got the plant, I told myself. The next branch died. I must have only had part of the plant under the lamp.
Yesterday I was out all day. I forgot to turn on my lamp and forgot to water the plant.
Today I went in to water it and turn on the light. It's dead. All of it.
Shall we just call me the plant killer?