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Sunday, February 14, 2010

The Black Thumb

I can't seem to keep my plants alive.

Someone gave me beautiful, thriving pots of sage and rosemary over the summer. They flourished during the summer, sprouting gorgeous leaves and smelling wonderfully. I brought them in before the cold hit.

After that, nothing I did was right.

When the first branch of sage died, I went crazy looking things up on the internet. I found so much contradictory information! Water daily. Water weekly, not daily! Keep them in the sunlight. Keep them away from windows!

By Christmas, the sage was dead. The rosemary was on its way out.

I asked my husband for a grow lamp for Christmas. Surely, I thought, a grow lamp will solve the problem.

I got a grow lamp, and a new rosemary bush. It came with an instruction booklet. "Water daily," it said. "Don't get water on the leaves."

Carefully I watered that plant. I turned on my light every day.

One branch of rosemary died. They were dying when I got the plant, I told myself. The next branch died. I must have only had part of the plant under the lamp.

Yesterday I was out all day. I forgot to turn on my lamp and forgot to water the plant.

Today I went in to water it and turn on the light. It's dead. All of it.

Shall we just call me the plant killer?

12 comments:

T. Anne said...

Oh Tamara you plant killer! LOL. Just be thankful it's not a felony ;) Happy Valentines Day friend!

arlee bird said...

I'm pretty much the same. I wrote about it a couple of weeks ago. I do well with plants that essentially grow like weeds--in other words need virtually no care. I now have about 7 plants in my back yard that have survived for at least 5 years or more and seem to remain relatively healthy. I don't do much to them--they're just there and actually they look kind of nice.
Lee

David J. West said...

I won't call you a plant killer.

Plant murderer sounds more appropriate.

LMJ said...

I gave up on plants lon ago. I can't seem to keep them alive. One time, mom went out of town, and left me in charge. She has a lot of plants inside the house. They all died!
:(
Mom was very angry with me. I did water them, but they died. I don't know why.

M. Gray said...

Oh man. Sorry girl. I want to grow my own herbs (for cooking, I promise!!) but KNOW I would end up with the exact same thing.

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

LOL, Thanks T. Anne! Happy Valentine's day for you too!

Arlee--a few years ago I had a small, thriving herb garden. It took me years of false starts before they began doing well. And then we moved, and my husband accidentally moved them into our storage unit. By the time I got to them, they were dead.

Thanks David! Let's see what else I can murder around here...

LMJ, that's so funny. My mom does great w/ her plants. But I asked her to watch a plant for me once and she very quickly killed it. It's only mine!

Mary, that's what I've been trying to do! I just want an herb garden! Argh!

Melissa J. Cunningham said...

You know, I don't keep plants either. I try, but I'm like you. I'm a murderer. My husband teases me about it all the time, saying he's going to buy me some plastic plants instead. LOL

SB said...

oh. poor poor rosemary...kinda like the character in your book. two deaths in less than a month.

Melanie J said...

Uh . . . I think my thumb is the matching pair to yours which is so embarrassing since I'm descended from a long line of illustrious green thumbs.

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

LOL, Melissa,sounds like my husband! He's like, "Why don't you just give up?"

SB, I'm all about death, apparently!

Oh, Melanie, the shame!

Jennifer Shirk said...

I'm a plant killer too. :(

Although I do great with outside flowers and plants. But if it comes inside...lookout. Its days are numbered. Always.

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

I'm just like you, Jennifer! They do wonderfully outside. but inside! uh-oh!

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