Wait, I know what you're thinking: "I already read this post." Nope, sorry. That was a different book signing gone wrong. I just have all the greatest stories.
So, let me tell you about this one. Saturday I had a big day planned at two book signings in Missouri. I plotted them on Google maps the night before and got ready. Since it showed a five hour drive from my house to the first signing, I left at 5am. I was feeling quite good at this time, happy that I'd gotten up on time, styled my hair, even put on make-up.
The first three hours went smoothly. I headed east on I-44, then north on MO-5, on my way to Cameron, Missouri. I chatted on the phone, listened to books, and sang to the radio.
Following my directions, I got onto MO-54 and headed east again. About an hour into this, I started getting suspicious. Why was I still going east? At some point I needed to go west. I started to feel that nervous pitter-patter in my heart--you know the one, right? Where something might be wrong but you're not sure yet?--and I pulled out my map again. This time I flipped over to the second page, where my destination was printed.
And it said Cameron, all right-- Cameron STREET, Columbia, Missouri.
My body went into panic mode. Sweat streamed down my face, my hands shook, my head spun. I turned the radio off. Where the heck was I? I called my brother and told him to get Cameron on the map (I think I woke him). And he said, "It doesn't exist!" And I screamed, "Yes it does! Find it!"
Yeah, I'm laughing now.
So he found it for me, good guy. Then I had to figure out where I was. I kept going east--even though I KNEW I was going the wrong way--because I didn't know what else to do. Finally I found a green sign. "Jefferson City is in front of me," I told him.
So he put in the coordinates and said, "I hope you don't need to be there soon. You're three and a half hours away."
Since my book signing started in 30 minutes and ended in 2 1/2 hours, this was not a good thing to hear. Even worse, I had to get to Jefferson City before I could find a correct interstate and turn around.
And then, my phone started beeping. It was dying.
Not knowing what else to do, I started on the correct route and turned my phone off (after calling and saying I'd be, um, late for the book signing). I sat there driving, fuming at Googlemaps and myself and my lack of phone charger. I needed a miracle. I had my Kindle and my Kindle charger, but not--
Wait. My Kindle charger.
Inspired, excited for the first time, I dragged out the Kindle charger and hooked it up to my phone. Well, I don't know if it's supposed to, but it charged my phone! This small little miracle made me feel in control again. At least now I could chat on the phone for the next three hours.
Of course, the last thing my brother said to me was, "Hope you enjoyed your tour of Missouri."
The rest of the day wasn't so bad. But I learned a lesson: always always always double check your Googlemaps map.