How to Graciously Accept Negative Reviews

I'm a member of several critique groups. One is in the real world, but the others are online. Everyone critiques differently, and there are several different levels of critiquing.

What I love about critique groups is that they find the problems in my book and they flaunt them in front of my face. How else would my book get better? We as authors understand this, right?

So I was a bit flabbergasted when I got not one, not two, but THREE emails from someone defending her book against my critique. As I responded to each and every email, I tried to be polite and respectful, but my true thoughts were, "Really? You've got to have a thicker skin than this to be a writer."

In light of her agony, here are some suggestions:

1) If lots of people are confused by the same thing, then perhaps the book could be a little clearer. There's no need to email the critiquer and tell them what you meant. Put it in your book so the reader knows what you mean.

2) Even if you feel the review doesn't apply, be gracious about it. Thank the critiquer. Not a good idea to threaten to leave the group because no one "gets" your book.

3) Don't email the critiquer and tell them all the ways they misread your book. Don't tell them they're wrong. Fix your book so it can't be misread. They might be wrong, but don't say it unless you don't want reviews from them again.

4) Don't join a critique group expecting everyone to tell you your book is perfect. That's not why you joined. You want to know how to make it better, and we're going to tell you.

5) Grow a thick skin. I can promise you, I won't be reviewing this person again. If you spazz or pout or get defensive with every less-than-glowing review, you'll stress everyone out and no one will try with you again.

6) Humble yourself. There is the ever so slight possibility that the critiquer is on to something. If you're not willing to listen, you'll miss out on making something better.

Critiques are meant to encourage, not destroy. They only work if the author listens to them, though!

Remembering Callie

SPOILER ALERT: If you haven't read Perilous, this scene has spoilers!

In this scene, right after the girls meet Ricky and Neal, Jaci has a quiet moment where she reflects on what they've been through since the kidnapping. It's a scene that explores Jaci's feelings, and while it may not be action-packed or exciting, I was sad to see it go.

 Two hours later the city was behind them and the forest engulfed them once again. The boys didn’t say much as Jaci and Amanda told them their story.

Of course they didn’t mention anything that had happened to Sara. That was Sara’s business, if she wanted anyone to know.

And Callie. They’d left out Callie.

As everyone settled down for the night, Jaci crept over to a grove of trees. The moonlight barely illuminated a smooth patch of ground and a rock, perfect for sitting. She stared at the broken skyline above the trees, feeling very alone. She’d never been able to communicate her feelings with Amanda, and lately Sara was too absorbed with her own issues to notice Jaci’s. Not that Jaci blamed her…but it was strange to be in constant company of her friends and feel so isolated.

How she missed Callie. Her dear friend, her best friend. Always ready with a listening ear, comforting words, even indignation when necessary. 

She could hear Sara and the twins laughing. Sara hadn’t laughed in weeks. She rubbed her temples and tried to pray, but too many thoughts ran through her mind. Jaci lay down in the dirt, trying to get comfortable. A tree root dug into her shoulder blade and she scooted sideways. She pretended to be asleep when Sara approached. Sara lay down without a word and soon her breathing was soft and heavy. Jaci wished she could join her.

 

Gel Nails

Manicures are fun, but I've always kind of thought they were a waste of money. You spend thirty minutes hanging out, doing nails, pay $25 (or more), and BAM, on the way out the door, you smudge something.

Never fails.

So while I've considered them fun, I've never done them regularly.

But I might start.

For my birthday the first week of March, my husband paid for me to go to the salon and get manicure. But he also paid for the "Gel Nails." At first I thought this was some kind of acrylic, and I was like, no way. But then I got there, and they showed me. It's nail polish. But it's a special kind of nail polish that literally hardens on your nail like a shell, and it doesn't come off. (Not for me, anyway. My mom and BF had a different lady for theirs, and she didn't seal it right.)

Six weeks later, I'm trimming my nails because I figure it's finally time to get this nail polish off. IT HASN'T COME OFF.

I'm sold. I'll pay $28 bucks for a manicure that lasts that long!

Mom of all Trades

I just got another job.

While I'm thinking, Yay!!!!, I'm also thinking, gee, I do a lot of odd jobs.

This one will be a first for me. I'll be waitressing two nights a week at a local restaurant. I'm really really excited for it because it'll be extra income, fun (hopefully), and doesn't interfere with the rest of my life (much).

I'll still be able to:

* Teach my students in the early morning
* Make school visits during the day
* Participate in DEW at 1:30pm
* Go to the gym 3xs a week
* Copy-edit at nights and weekends
* Leave my children at home with either myself or their father

But while it's fun... it doesn't fulfill my desire to open a bakery. I'll have to do that later. Unless the restaurant decides they need a dessert cook! :) It could happen, right?

So there you go. I'm a pro at odd jobs. Whatever works, I guess!

Self-sufficient 3 year old

We've worked hard to teach our kids to be self-sufficient.

We tell them to get their own cups and water when they're thirsty. If they make a mess, they pick up a rag and clean it up. If they need a new shirt, they go downstairs and get it.

So I should not have been surprised when my 3-year-old woke me up this morning crying because he couldn't clean the throw up off his bed. He tried. He changed his pajamas. He got rags and wiped the bed, the floor, the toilet. But in the end, he couldn't get it. And right when he's telling me this at 4am, he suddenly needs to puke again, and runs back to the toilet, this time with me on his heels.

Poor little guy. I felt so bad to imagine him on his own throwing up, then feeling like he needed to clean up his mess. Then he cried because he wasn't successful.

I sure love my little people. They might be holy terrors half the time, but they are so sweet and helpful the rest of the time! And really... things like this just show me how much they want to please us and do what's right.

Here's to being a mom!

DEW time!!!

Warning: If you never have an issue finding time out of your day to write, this post won't apply to you at all. Feel free to move on.

So you know the drill. Either you're a mom or you work full-time or you're in school all day. But finding time to write gets harder and harder until you begin to wonder if you're even a writer anymore. By the time the kids are in bed and the house is cleaned, you're too tired to think. And during the day, the stinky dishes and the sticky candy on the carpet demand that you care for them before you sit at the computer. Not to mention all the things you should do--like read to your kids, take them outside for a walk, write in your journal, dust (dust?? what the heck is that?)...

The list goes on and on. And it often feels like, before you can tackle what you want, you must tackle the NEEDS.

Well, guilt no more. While lamenting over our serious lack of writing time, my friend and I came up with a simple solution: DEW. Drop Everything and Write.

In grade school, we had DEAR time: Drop Everything And Read. It was the time when we, well, did just that. So now, at 1:30pm CST, for half an hour each day, right after I've put my youngest down for a nap, we write. She does it at her house and I do it at mine, but we text each other and check in to make sure we're doing it. It gives us accountability, but it's also something we can do. I can achieve this. I don't feel bad about neglecting anything I should be doing because it's only HALF AN HOUR.

During this time, I turn off my internet and my phone. No distractions. And it's amazing what I can get done in half an hour.

I'm creating a twitter hashtag for this. #DEW, obviously, and we might end up attracting a bunch of Mountain Dew fans, but maybe they'll find they like writing also. Won't you join us?

What do you do to find time to write? How do you get it in?

We Have a Date!!!

Source

I'm thrilled to announce the official release date of Altercation, the sequel to Perilous!

Are you ready???

Drumroll!

June 5!!!

I know you've all been sitting on pins and needles waiting, right? :)

So I've been sitting here trying to think of what teaser I should use. It was easy with Perilous; the first page had an intense hook. With Altercation, I think the best hooks are midway through the book, but I can't use them. They give away too much of the book. 

I'll probably stick with the first page. In the meantime, I think it's time I came up with a sort-of back cover blurb.

The FBI promised Jacinta Rivera and her friends that they were safe. Jaci wants desperately to believe them, but weeks of hiding from their kidnapper have left her wary. Locked away from the public eye, Jaci looks forward to a few days of healing before finally getting home to her family. And there's a lot to heal from, starting with the murder of her best friend and ending with her father's disappearance.

Plans change when a betrayal lands her back in the grasp of her kidnapper. Even if she manages to escape, she has her doubts that she'll ever be able to piece together her broken life.

Yes, it's rough, I know, but it's a start! I'll make changes as we go along, so give me feedback. And let me also add, this book is EVEN BETTER than the first. I hope you're excited!